Remembering

Good-bye 2011. You were a tough one and I'm relieved to see you go. While you weren't the hardest year I've had, you made it into my top 3. Surprisingly, I've learned almost as much from you as you have taken from me. If I could sum up the theme of the year in one word it would have to be: Faithful.

God's faithfulness endures forever. It doesn't ebb and flow with my emotions nor is it based on what I do to earn it. I love that His faithfulness sees the big picture and that He lovingly guides me through when I can't see it. His promise is to be with me along the way not to cater to my every whim and request. It's been so evident this past year that if He would have done things my way, I would not be in the place I am now. I'm way too selfish and needy to see what is the best for me and my family in the long run. I need to surrender to Him and let Him lead me with His tender mercies. What a mighty God I serve!

A few months ago, my high school English teacher introduced me to a blog by Scotty Smith. I adore his posts and feel so encouraged and challenged by his insight. The following is an excerpt from that blog that I read tonight. If I could write something to encapsulate my past year it would be almost exactly like this. The parallels are uncanny.

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness! Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?” Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases. Their idols are silver and gold, the work of human hands. Ps. 115:1-4

Heavenly Father, it’s New Year’s Eve. In some ways this past year feels like it has flown by; but on the other hand, when I consider some of the painful events of the year, it seems like it was a year that would never end—a year that would never go away. The “already” and “not yet” of knowing you were clearly evident over the past twelve months. Joy and grief are both comfortably at home in my heart at the end of this calendar year.

Looking back, I can easily say with the psalmist, “Be praised, adored and worshiped, O God, for your love and your faithfulness!” Abba, Father, you loved me all year long with an everlasting, engaged, unwavering love, irrespective of anything I did or didn’t do. You loved me as much as you love your Son, Jesus, for you’ve hidden my life in his. A big Hallelujah for that."

Here's a link to the blog so you can read the rest:
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/scottysmith/

Thankfulness

"Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the TRUTH you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." Colossians 2:7

"Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth! Worship the Lord with gladness. Come before Him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us, and we are His. We are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving; go into His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation." Ps. 100

My list of thanksgiving:

• I'm thankful for my husband's (and his entire unit) safe return from Afghanistan.
• I'm thankful for my beautiful family of 4 girls and a wonderful husband~even on the hard days when everyone is crabby.
• I'm thankful for my extended family. My mom, sister, brother, all my nieces and nephews, all my in-laws, and my Grandma. 
• I'm thankful that "family" doesn't have to mean blood related. Some family members are born from the heart~The Blair's.
• I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend with my dad in the weeks before he died in July.
• I'm thankful for God's redeeming love and how that love overflowed into my father's life in his last months.
• I'm thankful for my friendship with Stacy. She is a friend who loves me enough to speak the truth in love. She is always there with a hug, a prayer, an ear, and a shoulder. She taught me the power of a Reese's peanut cup, that coffee always tastes better when drinking it with a friend, and that doing the right thing isn't always easy but totally worth it in the end. Romans 1:12. Proverb 27:17. 
• I'm thankful for Elyzabeth, Jill, Jobeth, Kendra, and Nicole~my Deployment Diva's. This past year would not have been as do-able without these beautiful women. The fun, laughter and understanding you lady's brought into my life will have lasting effects.
• I'm thankful for the house that my husband built and has helped me make into a home.
• I'm thankful for my husband, the way he loves me, the way he loves our girl's, and the  the way he works so hard to provide for us.
• I'm thankful for God's amazing and bountiful grace.
• I'm thankful God is patient with me and loves me more than I will ever comprehend.

God is great!

The Greatness of Our God: by Hillsong

Give me eyes to see
More of who You are
May what I behold,
still my anxious heart.
Take what I have known
And break it all apart
For You my God, are greater still.

CHORUS
No sky contains,
No doubt restrains,
All You are,
The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I'm far from close
To all You are,
The greatness of our God.

Verse 2:
Give me grace to see
Beyond this moment here.
To believe that there
Is nothing left to fear.

That You alone are high above it all.
For You my God, are greater still.

CHORUS 2x
No sky contains,
No doubt restrains,
All You are,
The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I'm far from close
To all You are,
The greatness of our God.

Brigde: 2x
And there is nothing
That can ever separate us.
There is nothing that can ever
separate us from Your love.
No life, no death, of this I am convinced.
You my God, are greater still.

2x:
And no words can say, or song convey,
all You are the greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know,
And I'm far from close
to all You are,
the greatness of our God.

I've had this song in my head since I sang it at church on Sunday. Powerful words.

I'm in awe that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God. Even my doubts can not restrain the depths of His love or who He is. Instead of keeping me from striving to find out all of who He is, knowing that He is greater than I can ever imagine pushes me to see how much I can learn. I love His limitlessness. I'm amazed that in His limitlessness, in His greatness, and in His majesty He loves me.

     Father, like the song says, "give me grace to see beyond this moment here; to believe that there is nothing left to fear." No fear of being rejected by You because I am not perfect. No fear of being taken to a point beyond my control and being left to fend for myself. Because of who You are I do not have to have fear of those things. For Your love casts out ALL fears.

     Help me to go to bed different than who I was when I got up this morning. Less fearful and more trusting. Growing in the knowledge of who You are and desiring to never stop wanting all of who You are. In Jesus name, Amen.

Ponderings

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:5-11

I'm in a women's Bible study that meets each Thursday morning. Right now we are going through the book of Philippians section by section. Today our conversation focused on 2:1-11. A few things caught my attention and caused me to ponder. 

•  Obedience is a choice. Even Jesus had to choose to be obedient to the plan God had for Him. He could have at any point said, "That's it I'm done. These people don't get it! Here I am, in the flesh, the Messiah they have been waiting for for generations and they still do not believe!" But He knew God's plan. A rescue plan that started when Adam and Eve first sinned. My disobedience lead to Christ's obedience.
• Compared to me, Jesus had so much to lose and less to gain. While I have so little to lose and much to gain. Jesus left heaven, His father's side, and came down to earth as a human. He left the perfect to dwell among and to walk along side of the imperfect. He knew that by giving all He had for me (all of us), He would be getting, in return, all of my (our) sins upon His shoulders, thus separating Himself spiritually from His own Father. God literally turned His face away from His son. That was far more painful than the physical pain Christ went through on our behalf. The sins Christ died for were not His, but ours alone. On the other hand, what do I have to lose in exchange for Christ? He will give me eternal life, peace beyond my understanding, a heavenly home, forgiveness, a relationship with Him and all He asks of me is to surrender my heart to Him and acknowledge Him as King of kings, Lord of lords and Saviour. No matter how hard I try, I can not make what He gave up balance with what I need to surrender. It doesn't make logical sense. What on this earth is worth NOT giving to Him in order to gain all He is and has for me! Why do I try so hard to hold on to things that are rubish when I have Christ to gain by letting go? Many times I fool myself into thinking that I can give Him only part of me in exchange for all of Him.
• Christ must love me like crazy to endure what He did. He knew that I would make bad choices, go backwards, and choose to sin, but He willing went to the cross on my behalf. All He had to gain was a relationship with sinners. Sinners, who could become blameless through the blood He shed on the cross. He has made a way for me (us) to be forgiven and be made pure. It's because of His obedience to God that He died on the cross.

Lord, help me grasp Your truths, understand Your love for me, and give myself fully to You. God, nothing in my life is worth clinging to if it means I miss a deeper relationship with You. Help me to believe that enough to let go and let You reign. You are a gentle God. You know me better than anyone else and know fragility of my heart. Your plans for me are not to harm me but to give me a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) I thank you for Your amazing love, Your saving grace, and Your forgiveness. Thank you for enduring pain beyond my comprehension for a wretch like me. In Jesus name, Amen

The desire of my heart

Lord, Increase the desire in my heart to follow hard after You. I don't want to become content with just knowing part of You. I want to keep searching, looking, and growing in the knowledge of who You are all the days of my life. God, Your word says that if I seek You with all my heart I will find You. Thank You for that promise. I pray that each day when I wake up I will have a yearning to seek You; a desire that can only be quenched by You.
In Jesus name, Amen


I want to know You:

In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there
In the secret, in the quiet hour
I wait only for You
Cause, I want to know You more

I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more

I am reaching for the highest goal
That I might receive the prize
Pressing onward, pushing every
Hindrance aside
Out of my way
Cause, I want to know You more

I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more

 Cry of my heart:

It is the cry of my heart
To follow You
It is the cry of my heart
To be close to You
It is the cry of my heart
To follow all of the days of my life

Teach me Your holy ways oh Lord
So I can walk in Your truth
Teach me Your holy ways oh Lord
And make me wholly devoted to You

Open my eyes so I can see
The wonderful things that You do
Open my heart up more and more
And make it wholly devoted to You